My editable life

Is there a way of existing without being hurt?

I wonder how to live without existing
all I know is how to exist without living
and it's so heavy
way too heavy.

It's so sad I still can't forgive her.
It's so sad I still can't talk to her in a honest, clean way.

With her it's always a struggle
and I know she'll always try to destruct me
and sometimes I think that's the only reason why I keep her around
cause she's the only one who hates me as much as I do.

How can I destroy myself without dying?
How can I die and still wake up to the next day?




**
My mind has been full of sadness and regret, all for nothing. I still overreact at most things. I hope to the day I won't.

Dill, xx.